Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I puked a lego.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Randomize
