I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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