What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
