I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
