it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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