You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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