He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
