new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
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Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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