Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
