I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize