He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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