Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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