shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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