How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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