There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
