Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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