My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
never play flip cup with pint glasses
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have already put on my inside pants.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
