don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
