If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
