Apparently you make a good broom.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
