Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She's the barista slut.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
