you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize