They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
