i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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