why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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