so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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