woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
