As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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