just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What a fucking waste of an outfit
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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