we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.