school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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