Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
