you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
