Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
