I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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