dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
