You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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