the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
