; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
