Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
