dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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