my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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