I'm so fucking centered right now
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
