Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
