wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
