Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
