I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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