separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
