Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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