don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She said her name was "party"
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
