I must be too annoying 4 u.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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