Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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