How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize