there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize