I faked an abortion last night.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize