Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
