yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
