Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
